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So my eating has been watched for the past week due to this “Fitness Challenge” for work so my boss can win a new oven for the daycare cooking.

Well obviously my normal eating habits are far from healthy. So I have been motivated to truly try to eat normally and be healthy. I want my boss to win this prize, and I also wouldn’t want to admit to a board of people my true eating habits. I have been doing alright though. Eating normally. Forcing myself to eat breakfast (I hate eating when I wake up) every day. I have actually gained. Five whole pounds. I weight 111 right now. I have been working out harder at the gym to try to compensate, but my body isn’t use to any of this. I don’t feel good about myself, I don’t feel pretty, thin, tiny. I feel full. And disgusted. But somewhere I do feel a little bit of happiness. I ate a poptart today for the first time in over a year. The whole 400 calorie pack giving me a total of 1300 calories for the day. And I almost enjoyed it. The food. I feel.. a little lost somewhere inside myself. Between what I need, and what I want and who I am. But I am trying to be better. I am trying to stay focused. We will see what happens.. Only time will tell.



#possible recovery #better eating habits #healthy


Ran three miles in 25 minutes. Then walked another half. Burned 305 ;) Then abs and arms strength.

Have only had coffee, real sugar (out of sweetener) and a little creamer. (100) Plus one apple (100) and nine honey wheat pretzel sticks (150) and one large tomato (40) and the top off a cupcake (125?) OH and part, less than half a pbj sandwich at work.. (75)= 590

Killed it in the gym. 285 total thus far.

Making meatloaf with ground turkey 395 cals per serving with green beans and sweet potato mashed potatoes. XD NOM NOM NOM Starving.

And actually excited to eat.

Hmm. Very…..

Weird.

:)



#pro ana #recovery? #healthy meal #workout #running


Anonymous said: Have you done tumblrdatinggame(.)com yet?

Never heard of it.



healthycub said: Hi, how are you? It has been awhile.

Good. Same ole same ole. You seem like you are doing well :)



Watched Black Swan for the very first time last night.. And holy crap. It. Is. AMAZING.

The dancing. Her perfect body.The inner struggles and battles with her Mother.

What a beautiful movie.



#Black Swan #great movie